Things We Do

If you say you love anyone, be it someone special or a family member you are proclaiming a duty you have towards them. The duty to put forth their desires before yours; just some responsibility you take on yourself to try keeping them happy always. It is a commitment you’ve made with self and the only one, who checks upon it, is you, leaving no escapes.

So whatever you’re doing is to justify your promise to self, it is about your own satisfaction more than their happiness. Things sometimes turn according to plan while go in the opposite course most of the time; what we do is blame that person when we fail. Truth be told, they are unconcerned of our actions; they had no idea what we have had in store for them all along. How could we possibly blame them then? Plans if known to them change the entire picture but that rarely happens since we all love surprises. So yeah, don’t blame your loved ones for your mistakes.

Need You Now

So there is this song 'need you now' by lady antebellum it has topped world's charts so I'm pretty sure you all have heard it or of it.

In the lyrics antebellum at a point says, "I'd rather hurt than feeling nothing at all..." A year ago, I though what crazy thing is this lady talking about! Who wants pain? Hurting is no good, it shatters a person; who wants to be in pain? I knew what pain was, how it left you, how helpless you feel. I even posted a status about it quoting antebellum and disagreeing saying, "I'd rather feel nothing at all than hurt." A passing by angel must have shared my thought with Almighty, who decided to give me taste of what I had asked for.

There have been broken hearts and reunions and even though it has been a year of repetition of history, I can see a drastic change in self. I am not the same person anymore. I'm cold and sensitive at the same time. I can feel others' pain and walk past them without stumbling. I'm not even sure how that's possible, but I guess I'm on the verge of transforming completely into a cold hearted person from a sensitive and caring one. It is sad, awfully sad state that you see your loved ones suffer and you walk past their suffering and you don’t even want to help them out. It makes me feel guilty how could I possibly be so insensitive? Doing all for self but not pausing for an instance to help anybody be it a stranger or beloved. There is emptiness inside; every moment I realize how I don’t feel anything when I should be; the hole deepens reminding that something is missing. 

So yeah, after some experience I agree to what lady antebellum said...

A memory

That awkward moment when you're not sure what you miss the moment, that moment or the people in that moment.

Best Friends

                          You see your best friend walk past the hallway flashing you smile but not stopping for an instance, even to ask how you have been; you start to wonder if things are the same or not anymore. Has your friend found some better friend than yourself or did you do something utterly wrong which hurt their feelings? Whose fault is it, the question rambles your mind. But what you can actually do about it, not much though but...You could go up to them and ask if everything is alright, alright in their life, alright in your friendship. This shall lead you to two trails, either they would tell you how busy they’ve been and it has nothing to do with you and start babbling their latest, or they’ll say something is wrong but they don’t really want to talk about it, so you’d have to wish them luck and set off.


                          This was today, but do you know what happens tomorrow? The one who shared that very instant has the same feelings as yesterday leaving things the same as they’ve always been; however, with the friend who didn’t want to talk about it things shall keep on changing, they shall not want to talk to you about anything for a long time and during this whole time for some reason they shall choose to blame you.

My Box of Chocolates

My aunt was coming from abroad for the summer break and as days passed by her upcoming visit to Pakistan became the prior most talk, she asked if we wanted anything from there? Some demanded objects timidly and some liberally. I just asked for one thing, a box of my favourite chocolates, Ferrero Rocher. This is the way it was supposed to be, she was to bring me my favourite chocolates and I was to finish them as soon as they come to my hands. Since it was vacations and almost all of the family had gathered things did not turn out as pre planned.

Living in a joint family sharing is what we have always practiced, but this time when it came to sharing my precious box I simply couldn’t bring my heart about it. I kept it hidden behind all those food containers in the refrigerator saving it from the eyes of all (even my own). Party continued all summer long and through those fun times I very well managed to keep my box of chocolates sealed and intact. Vacations passed sooner than expectations and my university started along with the Holy month of Ramadan. All those months I had almost forgotten about my covertly hidden package. Not long after all folks visiting left; one day I had longing for chocolate.

Now most people believe that those who love sweets can eat them anywhere anytime; which is true in some cases for instance my mother and brother, but it is also true that not all of the sweet lovers desire having sweet all the time. In my experience specifically, though I am an admirer of only certain kind of sweets like puddings, dark chocolate cakes, Boston crème filled doughnuts and nutty chocolates. However, my fondness of them is not greater than the wrath of my mood, if I’m not in the mood, I might not eat any of these. So, coming back to my box of chocolates, as a few of you might have already guessed it ended within a month of its inaugural, for I dare not end my day without giving myself the pleasure of one chocolate or sometimes two. Now I am left with an empty box and God only knows when I’m going to have a chocolate next time, for there is one thing for sure that I’m surely never spending my own money on chocolates or CDs.

EID ?

Me: Eid is almost here.

Myself: Really?

Me: Yeah, It's not even a week away.

Myself: Doesn't seem like it at all.

MORAL: There is no moral you moron!

Eid is right here, my so called preparations are all done but not for a single moment have I felt the charm of it. I don't feel at all like I live in a Muslim state where one of the largest Muslim festival is about to be held.